Monday, April 17

10 Things

1. "Hi Jacob,
Just a thought to ponder;
much of the happenings in our
lives seem to be random,
but I believe most if not all are specifically engineered into each of our lives,
and are purposefully so.
Have a great day.
" ~A new friend

2. Some days all you need is a good hike to clear your soul. You may not find answers. You may not see the world any more clear. But you will find some truth. You will....absolutely will...learn something new about yourself.
Cheers from Big Slide.

3. You have to make your own happiness.

4. I got to get on the bike! Just a few quick miles. Made Easter a bit more bearable this year.

5. I cannot watch the news anymore. I have no interest in national politics. For the first time, something I used to adore and could not get enough of, I have had enough of. I become more nauseous reading it all, I need to get away from it.

6. April is a stinky month.

7. "It is like being on the Titanic. A beautiful ship, with all the latest technology, and some pretty swell people on board. But the Captain is playing solitaire with his second in command, forgot to put on his glasses, and thinks we should be going faster. Truthfully, there are only three answers - 1) keep chugging along as if we hit nothing, 2) jump off the ship and hope you can swim, or 3) try to patch the hole. That is it. Now choose."

8. "..ps: if this is austin..."


9. !!!

10.

Friday, April 14

U2 ~ Window In The Skies



The shackles are undone, the bullets quit the gun The heat thats in the sun will keep us when theres none The rule has been disproved, the stone it has been moved The grave is now a groove, all debts are removed Oh cant you see what love has done? Oh cant you see what love has done? Oh cant you see what love has done? What its done to me? Love makes strange enemies, makes love where love may please The soul and its striptease, hate brought to its knees The sky over our head, we can reach it from our bed You let me in your heart and out of my head, head Oh cant you see what love has done? Oh cant you see what love has done? Oh cant you see what love has done? What its done to me? Oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh Please dont ever let me out of you Ive got no shame, oh no, oh no Oh cant you see what love has done? Oh cant you see? Oh cant you see what love has done? What its doing to me? (Oh cant you see what love has done?) I know I hurt you and I made you cry Did everything but murder you and I (Oh cant you see what love has done?) (Oh cant you see what love has done?) But love left a window in the skies (What its doing to me?) And to love I rhapsodize (Oh cant you see what love has done?) To every broken heart (Oh cant you see what love has done?) For every heart that cries (Oh cant you see what love has done?) Love left a window in the skies (What its doing to me?) And to love I rhapsodize Oh cant you see? 

Sunday, April 9

A Letter to Tad

To Tad,

You do not know me. But we met the other night at the bar. And it was something I was not expecting. To the extent that I have written this two times, now I know I need to post it.

You sat down directly next to me at Ridley's, for which I thought was a pompous move. Come on Tad, give me some room, a seat over was wide open. But, you did that, and that turned out to be ok.

Then you introduced yourself, and I was like fuck no. I just want to be in my world. Think about the shit that I want to think about. What has happened to me the last 2 hours...months....4 months. I do not want another person on this journey. I am pretty miserable at this point, and the alcohol has not hit me.

Tad, why oh why?

Then, we talked. And boy, did we talk.

About relationships. About the journey. About parents. About politics. About partners. About life in general and where we are headed.

And, it was pretty great.

Tad asked me questions about who I am. And, I of he. I learned so much about one individual in our very short 45min together than I had with anyone in months. We hit on areas of life, for each of us; a 52 year old man and me, a 30 year old man can relate to. The lines of "we are still so young", "we can still do so much good", and "we must do good, as that is why we are here" came up so many times.

He helped me conceptualize my last relationship. Putting some small piece together and realizing how important she was to who I am today. Learning that it is not...never, ever.... a loss to give you your full heart and soul to another.  It is even beautiful. Even, sadly, if it does not end the way you think is best.

And, I connecting a path way for education for he and his partner. Not to mention the connection of two old souls that randomly found each other. We both gave a bit of ourselves. And that is cool. As he got a phone call from his girlfriend, he gulped his (full) beer, gave me a quick hand shake, and was gone.

The conclusion:


So, to Tad. Thank you for sitting next to me. I believe in fate. And I believe our chance meeting was necessary for both of us. I can say it was for me.

Best of luck on where ever you are. Best of luck in succeeding in all your dreams.
Thank you for coming into my life.
j

Sunday, April 2

LISTEN TO THE MUSTN'TS Shel Silverstein





Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child,
      Listen to the DON'TS
      Listen to the SHOULDN'TS
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WONT'S
      Listen to the NEVER HAVES
Then listen close to me-
      Anything can happen, child,
ANYTHING can be

Saturday, April 1

The Greatest Irony of Love

The greatest irony of love: Loving the right person at the wrong time or having the wrong person when the time is right; finding out you love someone after that person walks out of your life. For some, they think that letting go is one way of expressing how much they love that person. Some are afraid to see the one they love being held by someone else. Most relationships tend to fail not because of the absence of love, but because love is always present. It's just that one was being loved too much, and the other was being loved too little. Most often, we fall in love with the person we think we love, but to only discover that for them we are just for past times. While the one who truly loves us remains either your friend or a stranger. 

When you think of your past love; you may view it as a failure; but when you find a new love, you view the past as a teacher. In the game of love, it doesn't really matter who won or who lost. What's important is that you know when to hold on and when to let go. You know that you love someone when you want him or her to be happy, even if their happiness means that you're not apart of it. Everything happens for a reason and for its best. If the person you love doesn't love you back, don't be afraid to love someone else again, for you'll never know unless you give it a try. 

You'll never truly love a person, unless you risk for their love; love strives in hurting. If you don't get hurt, then you won't learn how to love. Love doesn't hurt all the time; though the hurting is there to test you, to help you grow. Don't find love, let love find you; that's why it's called falling in love, because you don't need to force yourself to love, you just fall. You cannot finish a book without closing the chapters. If you want to move on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages. 

Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. But why is it that the greatest irony of love is letting go when you want to hold on, and holding on when you need to let go? You can never find the right person if you can never let it go of the wrong, but at the same time the moment you feel like letting go, you remember why you held on for so long. Sometimes you have to forget what you want and remember what you deserve. 
To love is to risk rejection, to live is to risk dying and to hope is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing at all. To reach for another is to risk involvement, to expose your feelings is to expose your true self. To love is to risk not being loved in return. 

How to define love: Fall but do not stumble. Be constant but not too persistent. Share and never be unfair. Understand and try not to demand. Hurt but never keep the pain. 
Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling. It should inspire you and give you joy and strength. But sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end. Loving people means giving them the freedom; whom they choose to be and where they choose to go. Loving someone means giving them the freedom to find their way, whether it leads towards you or away from you. 

Love can be a painful risk. To love means that risk must be taken, no matter how scary or painful, for only then will you experience the fullness of humanity of what we call love. If you're not ready to cry, if you're not ready to take the risk and if you're not ready to feel the pain, then you're not ready to fall in love.

Find it here : 
http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread438162/pg1

Defying Gravity ~ Wicked



Something has changed within me

Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
And you won't bring me down

I'm through accepting limits 'cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change but 'til I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost!

I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you won't bring me down

Unlimited (unlimited)
My future is (future is) unlimited (unlimited)
And I've just had a vision
Almost like a prophecy
I know it sounds truly crazy
And true, the vision's hazy
But I swear, someday I'll be...

Flying so high! (defying gravity)
Kiss me goodbye! (defying gravity)

So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately,
"Everyone deserves the chance to fly!"

I'm defying gravity!
And you won't bring me down, bring me down, bring me down!

Thursday, March 16

The Love of an Epic TV Show

For the love of TV shows.
There is something great about them that we all have experienced at least once.
Tears. Laughter. Pain. Angry. Grief. Every emotion.

For me, it was The West Wing, which I have written about manymanymany, many, many times. This show changed my life, frankly it is why I went into politics. The idealistic nature of what government COULD BE.


Now, I have written many times about the importance of the West Wing, so that is not what I am doing here. Instead, commenting, rather pointing out the incredible importance a fantastic television show can have on your life. Whether it be inspiring folks to do things with a powerful speech, or envoke a feeling that hasn't been played, or make you weep, make a memory of a past experience come right back to your face.

Television allows us to explore a life, through scenes and incredible diologeue, that we wish we had or could someday aspire to.

Moments that will make you cry uncontrollably, like Parenthood did (you know the scene, damn, choked up again. Or incredible times How I Met Your Mother was just too damn real....(like those episodes where I had to do a lap around the block because it hit me too hard (damn emotional thinking about it (hot damn, parenthesis within parenthesis (a thought within a thought within a thought))) I digress). I'll come back to How I Met Your Mother.

Then there is Breaking Bad, which I just finished a couple of days ago.



Breaking Bad is something incredible. I do not want any of the characters lives, but I am drawn right into it. The slow build, the incredible story telling, the ability to move the story ever so slowly forward. Cheering so many freaking times for the bad guys. And cheering for people to die. The last 5 episodes I had to binge. Truly, Breaking Bad, is one of the best creations ever - of all media, ever.

And this connects with House of Cards for me. It connects even more than Breaking Bad as House of Cards was my life for too too long. I know a Frank Underwood. I know a Claire Underwood. I know Doug Stamper's and all the other characters. I found myself enthralled in the pure anti-West Wing sentiment it brought. Where the West Wing brought me into politics, House of Cards helped in my exit.


And then there are the incredible stories that made me ball, just for ending such a perfect story of characters. This is the Friday Night Lights (I still can't say "clear eyes, full hearts, can't loose" with out butterfly's), Quantum Leap (Sam, please come home), and finally ERER is interesting as it has it's incredible moments, then really shitty seasons. But still, because I hung on, and it was apart of my life, the last episodes hit me.

And, I have to come back to How I Met Your Mother as it holds even more meaning to me. It found me at an important place in my life and complimented my love of Friends so much. The thing is, the scary part of this how a show can become apart of your life, of your memory. I still do not think I can finish How I Met Your Mother, even though I left it with 5 episodes to go. It meant something to me and my past 18 months.


How I Met Your Mother transcended a simple TV show. All of these shows have in one way or another.

And, I guess that is my point. TV can become more.
TV can add comfort. Take away. Bring it back again.

Another's story. A fictional character can become like family.
That is cool.
That is why art is so important.
We can find words when there are none.

Friday, March 10

Time ~ Hootie And The Blowfish

(One of the greatest times of our time.)



Time why you punish me
Like a wave bashing into the shore
You wash away my dreams

Time why you walk away
Like a friend with somewhere to go
You left me crying

Can you teach me 'bout tomorrow
And all the pain and sorrow running free
'Cause tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in time

Time I don't understand
Children killing in the street
Dying for the color of red

Time there red and blue
Wash them in the ocean, make them clean
Maybe their mother won't cry tonight

Can you teach me about tomorrow
And all the pain and sorrow running free
But tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in

Time is wasting time is walking
You ain't no friend of mine
I don't know where I'm goin'
I think I'm out of my mind
Thinking about time
And if I die tomorrow
Just lay me down in sleep

Time is wasting time is walking
You ain't no friend of mine
I don't know where I'm goin'
I think I'm out of my mind
Thinking about time

Time you left me standing there
Like a tree growing all alone
The wind just stripped me bare
Stripped me bare

Time the past has come and gone
The future's far away
And now only lasts for one second, one second

Can you teach me 'bout tomorrow
And all the pain and sorrow, running free
'Cause tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in time

You ain't no friend of mine
I don't know where I'm goin'
I think I'm out of my mind

Walking, wasting
You ain't no friend of mine
And I don't know where I'm goin'
No don't know

Time without courage
And time without fear
Is just wasted, wasted
Wasted time

Time why you punish me