Thursday, August 20

‘Dang Canadian drivers’ prompt self-examination

I have found myself driving around Plattsburgh last week cursing the drivers - primarily from Canada. Come on, you know you have done it too – "Dang Canadian drivers, learn to drive!"

It starts with Canadian drivers, and then it moves to out of State drivers. I mean let's be honest, New Jersey and Pennsylvania folk just cannot drive. Then it slowly turns into those with random bumper stickers.

Then to older drivers.

Then to the gender of the driver. 

But where does this come from; what are we thinking? I have found myself in a diversity paradox that needs to be challenged.

We find ourselves criticizing "the other". This idea is based on preconceived biases based on geography, gender, race, anything that is different from our self – the other.

So, I challenge myself, and the reader, to begin thinking about diversity in our local community. Why are you yelling about those dang Canadians, or are you just finding those different than you and identifying a flaw?

In another perspective, each one of us is a poor driver. This reiterates the idea of putting ourselves in another’s shoes, empathy for those are around us.

Empathy for the other is really the whole ballgame that can change our nation, beginning with our daily commute.

Adirondack Daily Enterprise link

Monday, August 17

The Defining Decade part part II : Me

After completing The Defining Decade and writing a review, I felt the need to put myself in the scenarios introduced in the text. Throughout the book Dr. Meg Jay discussed themes regarding Work/Career, Love, and Living as a 20something; how these are the most transformative years in our lives. I completely agree with the theme and as mentioned in my review I wish I had read this book just a couple years ago, it may have had more of an impact. 

As a 28 year old the themes mentioned above are still relevant. However, I feel a bit more maturity as reading through the scenarios with Dr. Jay's clients. This was a great read, but I would have thought about things differently if I read it at 22, before I made the many mistakes and silly future plans. And I feel I would have found more, positive reassurance if you will, if I had read this at 26 through a "quarter-life-crisis".



At 22
- I just graduated from SUNY Plattsburgh and had completely nieve goals toward the future, the five-year plan was pretty crazy. I should state here that I feel I was in better shape that most, I was moving into a job, I had a good grasp of my finances, my family was in great shape, I was single but hopeful. However, this would have been a fantastic point to have read and hopefully achieved an idea of a bigger picture.

Heck, connecting it with A5P, one can see.


Reading this at 22, I would have made the connection we are not on nor should we be on a strict schedule for marriage, perfect job, money, house, dog, everything. To stop comparing myself to my friends and family, I am living my life and that is pretty darn perfect. All I could ask for.

At 26 - I was (I know this now) at the end of my political career. Making a transition to something else, at the time I had no idea where I was headed and I had no idea at the time that politics was killing me - rather the sense of who I thought I was. I find it interesting looking back at 26 and where I was. I had just finished three pretty successful year and was hit was new leadership and a urging to get out of politics. I was in a transition, lost the job, moved home. An attempt to start again. Looking back, specifically to the well crafted plan at 22 (when of course  I this whole life things figured out). I wasn't even close to marriage, no potential for kids, my career was ending....totally not part of the plan.

Again, going back to A5P, things were in good shape until February. Then things get bumpy.



I did stay in politics for one more year, but realized during this time it was time to find something more.

Now at 28 - After reading the Defining Decade and my summary of my life I feel like a battle weary old-timer speaking of life at 28 (where, of course, I do have it figured out).

A5P for 2015 so far:


I mentioned this in the previous post, but the idea of Facebook and its role in my life.

I have changed jobs and enjoying every second. Although I keep hearing I am still in the honeymoon period, so think of that as you may.

I still haven't figured out love, but getting closer and closer every day. Which has been pretty great figuring it out. I would say the biggest point I learned is that there is no right path or schedule. It is what it is. Enjoy every second. Enjoy where life takes you. Whether it is in love, a career, in loving life. Every curve ball is there to show you something more about your self. Every mistake is there to teach you how to avoid and get out of that mistake. Every success is there to show you there is good and positiveness if you work for it or find the right relationship in YOUR LIFE, not setting a standard for those around you.

Our 20's are the most defining time. We become who we are. It is marvelous.

Wednesday, August 12

"SHOW UP IN EVERY SINGLE MOMENT
LIKE YOU'RE MEANT TO BE THERE." ~ Plattsburgh


Incredible how one picture can change ones life. This picture above has changed my life, potentially for the long term.

"Each day of human life contains joy and anger, pain and pleasure, darkness and light, growth and decay. Each moment is etched with nature's grand design - do not try to deny or oppose the cosmic order of things." ~ Morihei Ueshiba

Saturday, August 8

The Defining Decade part I : A Review

Incredible author that hit on incredible themes that need to be explored in depth by each and all of us. I strongly recommend this for anyone 26 or under; although it is advertised really for anyone 18 to 35. I just feel it more valued by those in their mid-20's.



I make the point for those younger than 26 because a lot I had learned along the way. I wish I had read this book then, most likely would have saved me a few months of worry. The section regarding jobs was too late for me. I received some insight, but it would have been perfect leaning toward three years ago at 25.

Yes, I did have a crisis regarding job (mostly likely a post to come in the the next few days). However, a few years later it just seems a bit silly.

The idea of love was a bit much and maybe I would have learned much more reading at 24 whecn I had a plan for love. I had a strict plan which I realized was ludicrus at 27 regarding love and relationships. The biggest point I got was moving in before an engagement is disastrous. While moving in after, but before a wedding, is pretty darn good statistically.

Then there is the idea of living. We all live slightly differently. Take comfort in that. It truly is the only way we are going to survive.

The context of Facebook  was well constructed throughout the text. Facebook is a stigma and curse of my generation, truly those born 1985 to 1995.

I would truly argue that our twenties matter more than we know, especially at that time. It is incredibly important to live them now, if not sooner. Enjoy every second. But enjoy it with purpose.

Want some more? Check out Dr. Meg Jay's TED Talk here.

"My formula for living is quite simple.  I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night.  In between, I occupy myself as best I can."  ~Cary Grant

Wednesday, August 5

10 Things

1. It is August and it feels as if summer just never really happened. That is great, that is bad; it is what it is.

2. "The philosophy of mine earth can be summed up as this: Sunshine creates happiness, and I create myself. Nights are long and life is predominantly good. Wind is refreshing. Tea is wisdom. Do the best you can, and be good to yourself so that you can above all be good to others." ~Jessi Lane Adams

3. I have read more in the past four months than in the past 4 years combined.

4. It truly is incredible how much a year can change. A few months. Hell, a few days. The ability to change and move on blows me away every time spend some introspective time thinking about the big picture. All for the best.

5. I have had 3 nightmares in the past week...

6. ...I have had 3 nightmares in the past 10 years. I am not sure what that is all about.

7. "The world is a grindstone and life is your nose." ~ Fred Allen

8. I feel, at times, there is so much I want to say...to post...to share on this. Then I do not have the words to do so. I had a 3 month hiatus and all I want to talk about now is the future. A realization, if you will, the past is behind us for a reason.

9. I am where I need to be. Good job. Loving family. Great friends. Incredible person by my side. #Lucky to be where I am, especially from where I was.

10.  "...I wish I could do better by you, because it is what you deserve. You sacrifice so much to make this work..."

Thursday, July 30

Chilled

I am chilled to the core, yet again, by the killing of another unarmed person; this time at the University of Cincinnati. I cannot fathom how we continue to allow this in our country and our ambivalence to the struggle with race is staggering. I find myself hurting in ways I cannot describe. We have a fear, which turns to a hate, which turns into tragedy. I once heard the line - "we have removed hate from our laws, now let us remove hate from our hearts". Most do not step up until the threat is in their backyard; however, I am challenging all to step up now for our brothers and our sisters struggling, please share your voice - we need a national change of heart. May we all find peace and understanding from these perplexing tragedies plaguing our country's soul.

Wednesday, July 15

"I stopped telling myself that I'm lost.

I'm not.

I'm on a road with no destination, I'm driving with hope that I'll find a place that I like and I'll stay there.

I'm not lost, I'm on my way."

Saturday, April 4

A little advice...

1. find a way to enjoy life
2. be satisfied with how you enjoy life
3. only drink on Friday and Saturday
4. find love.
5. don't stop believing.

...This is all I could ever ask.